JANE BLAIKIE
Progressive bulbar palsy
doesn’t exactly trip off the tongue — matter of fact, trips up the tongue.
It’s a bad trip, a maverick bus, terminus 14 to 18 months from diagnosis.
First the tongue, then travelling south, it will take his breath away.
It’s a bad trip, a maverick bus, terminus 14 to 18 months from diagnosis.
First the tongue, then travelling south, it will take his breath away.
Explain it ‘like Stephen Hawking’, except Stephen’s on the slow coach,
the double-decker, by way of a scenic route. Dave rides express
the double-decker, by way of a scenic route. Dave rides express
but he’s hauled the cord, wrangled some extra time (a year or more).
Call it hippy shit — visualisations — every cloud, plant, landscape
a metaphor for the stem cells he knows his brain can make.
Call it hippy shit — visualisations — every cloud, plant, landscape
a metaphor for the stem cells he knows his brain can make.
Yesterday’s cloud, an actual one, becomes a spreading, tessellating
fibrous network of new cells that reach affected limbs, the failing tongue.
On his way home from friends, an oncoming truck carries a tangle of dead
fibrous network of new cells that reach affected limbs, the failing tongue.
On his way home from friends, an oncoming truck carries a tangle of dead
supplejack: departing damaged neurons. Later he injects green tea extract
(home-made) through a peg in his gut, and tincture of pine-tree bark.
But coffee has the last line: It helps a lot.
(home-made) through a peg in his gut, and tincture of pine-tree bark.
But coffee has the last line: It helps a lot.
Tongue burglar
After the bell ringer
Drinking, not drunk
Drinking, not drunk
A car stops
Our hearts stop
Our hearts stop
With its lights on
When you cough
When you cough
Brighting the house
Last words
Last words
This no one
Noise words
Noise words
Bangs the flap
Laughter remains
Laughter remains
Looks inside
Then drives off
Then drives off
Green tea
I’ve been cheered up a lot by proactivity such as making green tea extract — it helps me escape a fatalistic attitude.
after I get the peg in my gut (to feed)
I begin to inject green tea
more or less proven to help
I aim for equiv. 10 cups a day
I begin to inject green tea
more or less proven to help
I aim for equiv. 10 cups a day
I begin to inject green tea
caffeine content wakes me up
I aim for equiv. 10 cups a day
best if not hotter than 80°C
caffeine content wakes me up
I aim for equiv. 10 cups a day
best if not hotter than 80°C
caffeine content wakes me up
sometimes I add gin
best if not hotter than 80°C
it helps dissolve flavonoids
sometimes I add gin
best if not hotter than 80°C
it helps dissolve flavonoids
sometimes I add gin
benefits for auto-immune disease
it helps dissolve flavonoids
addicted to it now
benefits for auto-immune disease
it helps dissolve flavonoids
addicted to it now
benefits for auto-immune disease
feeling not quite right
addicted to it now
too many visits to the toilet
feeling not quite right
addicted to it now
too many visits to the toilet
feeling not quite right
today I take 60% of previous
too many visits to the toilet
feel better
today I take 60% of previous
too many visits to the toilet
feel better
today I take 60% of previous
more or less proven to help
feel better
after I get the peg in my gut (to feed)
more or less proven to help
feel better
after I get the peg in my gut (to feed)
After each visit
After each visit with you the texture
of light shifts — slows, tilts, sharpens —
like the opening bars of fever.
of light shifts — slows, tilts, sharpens —
like the opening bars of fever.
I watch another bad Beethoven movie
trapped in a script with Ed Harris.
He must ask the fictional female
to wash his combed belly, I must
watch his waxed butt.
trapped in a script with Ed Harris.
He must ask the fictional female
to wash his combed belly, I must
watch his waxed butt.
Like you, Beethoven spoke with notebooks,
friends competed to help. Ideals,
the Enlightenment, lit everything.
friends competed to help. Ideals,
the Enlightenment, lit everything.
Doesn’t make you Beethoven,
with his blood-laced shit, belly cut
and drained.
with his blood-laced shit, belly cut
and drained.
In his Ninth, all men become brothers.
I always cry when I hear its ode,
like a rat in a maze hearing the note
for shock.
I always cry when I hear its ode,
like a rat in a maze hearing the note
for shock.
You say, ‘Everything has sentience’
and ‘We have lost respect’.
and ‘We have lost respect’.
When your catheter leaks, all
I can think to say is,
‘Buddhists drink the stuff.’
I can think to say is,
‘Buddhists drink the stuff.’
Outside light flickers,
celluloid burns through
to the Ninth’s exquisite pain, melting
back to my father’s anger, jumping
to the ode. Jumping back to you.
celluloid burns through
to the Ninth’s exquisite pain, melting
back to my father’s anger, jumping
to the ode. Jumping back to you.
Outlook
He’d like to be living in a shack by the sea.
Someone weeds his tiny courtyard, his urban ward.
He notices the birds visit less often.
Someone weeds his tiny courtyard, his urban ward.
He notices the birds visit less often.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Jane Blaikie completed an MA at the IIML in 2012 with a poetry folio titled ‘The Neurology Department’. Its opening section is about the Wellington artist, designer and gallerist Dave Kent who was diagnosed with Motor Neuron Disease in 2009. Lines in the poems in italics are taken from notebooks that Dave has used to communicate with by writing after he became mute.