TURBINE | KAPOHAU

HANNAH METTNER

Girl (1818)

I am a girl, spending my girlhood learning
about men.

Anyway, this is the only education there is, and I am lucky
to have it. I think like this—what not to do—
what to do better—
putting the past behind me like the last tree falling
in the dark forest that has separated us
all these superstitious centuries.

I walk out, swinging the axe.

                        I unbutton myself
for bed and find the tough heart of a man clenched
beneath the hot silk
of my skin.

I can feel it
                        pressing up behind my teeth
like feelings. My heart wants many things—wants
to be many things       a stable-hand—a mason—
a dealer in antiques—a navigator—painter—
professor—philosopher—
god
forbid it
a poet