Jokes Cracked by Lord Aberdeen


The great-aunt died and I inspected her house. Irish linens never opened, a congealed wedding
bouquet in a bell jar, a significant issue of the Taranaki Herald in the jersey drawer. In the news
that day, there was rugby club war. You can either sort it out or biff it out, someone said to me,
carrying out a box of silver. A table made of the old back fence, a portrait of her granduncle,
the eyes coloured in with red biro. The whiskey smell of oak cabinets. In the realm of wit and
humour, Lord Aberdeen is a force to conjure with. Here the publishers have great pleasure in
introducing to the public a few of his gems. I kept a vase with a bullet hole in it and left the

Listen to Stefanie Lash read ‘Jokes Cracked by Lord Aberdeen

Love, conquerors of (world exceedingly dark)

involuntary memory 
derived from the look of a pansy 
         trodden into a puddle 
what people look like 
viewed from the bottom of the pool 
my olive pink shell               whare 
intimate in winter) 
my bed is a small boat lost at sea 
my old rocking pony there 
a caption                at home with her horse 
under the surface 
i starfish 
i diamond 
the dog circles me round 
my dad coming home 
with a gold briefcase) 

Listen to Stefanie Lash read ‘Love, conquerors of (world exceedingly dark)’

Tom Cruise

Yes, we were having sex. 
Yes, he gave me a suitcase 
filled with diamonds. 
I chose some. I felt ornery. 
Also he gave me pressed turkey, 
applied potato poultice 
to the bruises on my legs. 
You can see these bruises 
on my calf, either leg, 
from walking into the bed. 
His pinstripe pants 
had a button fly. 
For such a big man 
he had very thin ankles. 
We went to my parents’ house. 
The furniture was upholstered 
in pubic hair. I was indignant. 
There was a time 
when my hands were always 
finely cut. That wasn’t a dream. 

Listen to Stefanie Lash read ‘Tom Cruise


Stefanie Lash has just completed her MA at the IIML, where she put together a collection of poems called President Brie. Her poetry has previously appeared in TakaheTurbine and Poetry NZ. Just for the record, she thinks Tom Cruise is gross.